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About Heraklion

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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You will hardly meet a person who has never heard of this glorious city as well as sex tourist who has never tried escort girls in Agios Nikolaos. This place can boast a developed sex industry .

After that, I decide to hit up the local market on the waterfront. You know, the one that’s always buzzing with life? I’m browsing through the stalls, checking out fresh fruits and veggies. And then, I spot this guy selling handmade jewelry. I’m not usually into that stuff, but he’s got this wicked cool bracelet. I’m like, “How much?” He says, “20 euros.” I’m like, “Dude, I’ll give you 10!” We haggle for a bit, and I end up getting it for 15. Score!

Review: Crete shines brighter in the off season